themellowstudentvoidus asked:

what are the rules for sexfighting, how does it work, how to get started

ANSWER: There’s only the rules you and your lover agree to. 
Safe words are usually a good thing. 
There’s SEXfighting (which I favor) and sexFIGHTING (think of a sexy catfight). 
It depends on if sensation or physical dominance seems more important.
 
In real life, with your lover, it starts with discussion and pillowtalk.  Share what ideas excite you.  Ask your partner if some contest to make the other cum,
even against his or her will would be acceptable to him or her. 
Sometimes the object is to make the other cum first,
sometimes the object is to completely exhaust the other.
Sometimes it could be best of three cumms, or five. 
Whatever the object, it’s a fun thought through sex.   It should be fun, sane, sensual and never harmful.   

Sexfighting can also be explored in the realm of the internet.  This blog, like some others, is dedicated to the topic and contains a lot of fun fantasies. 
Unfortunately, this is a rare peak of human sexuality, and on top of that, people are hesitant to report their matches.  I believe that there’s a number of reasons for that - but that’s another question entirely. 

I cannot give you an estimate on the rarity of this kink.  BDSM is massive compared to our numbers.

We like that sliver of activity where the dominance still being decided.  Are we a subgroup of D/s?  You could think of it that way, but I’m not entirely sure it’s an accurate way to categorize it.  Many Sexfighters consider themselves tending towards one of these poles, but few of us really relish that role, premade. 

You could search out FreecatfightForum.com, SecondLife
and Yahoo Internet Messenger for some places that it
exists or existed.  Sometimes the suffix _sf is used in a name to indicate interest. 

Ask me more if I can help.  You’re not alone in your interest.